EFFECTS OF MARITAL CONFLICT MANAGEMENT SKILLS ON MARITAL STABILITY AMONG LITERATE COUPLES IN NIGERIA

ABSTRACT

This study was undertaken to find out the acquisition of management skills and how this stabilises a marriage relationship in term of conflict in the home. The study was also aimed at discovering the effect of treatment on couples who attended a management skill programme and those who do not. A total of two thousand couples were selected by purposive sampling technique from ten churches in the Northern Cross River State. These couples were found to have some deficiency in management skill and so conflict were often times mismanaged. The couples for experimental study were put into two groups. The experimental and control. The experimental received treatment while the control did not. The experimental group programme was packaged into four weeks interaction sessions, each lasting for one hour. Pre-test post-test using couples checklist were collected from the two groups. The two research designs of the study included the survey and quasi-experimental pre-test post-test. The principles of using two designs were employed to adequately maximize the collection of data. Analysis of the research questions was done using statistical package for social science (SPSS), means and standard deviations while the hypotheses were tested using both t-test for independent samples and Analysis of Variance (ANOVA). The discrimination in the use of these statistical tools was informed by the need to achieve enough sensitivities in these tests. Specific findings of the study showed that couples required management skills to achieve cordiality in a marriage relationship. The favourable and unfavourable nature of conflict in marriage by gender, family size, family location, family structure and educational status had some determined influence on the direction of marital success of literate couples in Northern Cross River State. The findings of the study also showed that there were no significant differences in the expectations about marriage by male and female couples. The implication of the findings is that couples’ level of education in a way assists in effective handling of marital conflict. In line with contending, pre-marital counselling was perceived in the study to be the most important predictor for assisting couples in handling marital conflicts. The study recommends the need for family life education as a general course of study that would improve on successful marriage.

CHAPTER ONE

1.1        BACKGROUND OF THE STUDY

The institution of marriage is as old as the creation of man. It is the coming together of two persons in love with consent of parents, guardians and witnesses for the purpose of procreation and companionship. In the context of this work, it is the heterosexual relationship of consenting adults who maintain some form of socially approved sexual relationship, sharing a common residence, engaging in economic co-operation and procreation. Marriage is expected to be an affair of intimacy and compromise, where spouses complement each other. It is also expected to be “for better and for worse” but the current trend in the marriage dyad departs from these traditional assertions, as the marital union is today a mere association where rancour, conflict, savage mutual attacks are endemic (Burk, 2000; Dadi, 2004). Today the couples tend to dwell together only when things are rosy and prefer to leave or separate when misunderstandings occur or when a conflictual situation arises. Despite the threats of the disintegration in marriages, there are still model marriages whose dispositions give hope for badly managed ones. Conflict is said to be good, especially when the tension so generated leads to change which may be thought aggressive, yet ultimately ends in convincingly peaceful resolution. Thus, though conflict is disruptive, it helps to create awareness among different people, groups and society with respect to the existence of boundaries of common interest. Any attempt by any group to step beyond the bounds generates conflict, which may be capable of disrupting the entire system. Conflict here is seen as being both positive and negative. Essuman (1988) maintains that it is positive when the persons involved are agitating for positive changes in their relationship, and it is negative when conflict is due to their own selfish aims. Often times, this assessment of marriage occur unknown to the couples themselves courtesy of the society and the people therein. The challenges accruing from these conflicts are expected to assist couples move forward in their experience as companions. Conflict creates cohesion and strengthens group solidarity; it binds people with common interests together and restores integrative care. Despite the integrative role conflict is expected to play, it leads too frequently to the break up of marriages these days.

Scholars have suggested several possible causes of this unhealthy situation. Obe (1997), Oyedepo (2001) Awok, (2003) maintain that the seeming unresolvable conflict in marriages is caused by the age at marriage. They state further that when couples are not mature physically, emotionally and intellectually to handle marital conflicts with the patience, perseverance and understanding they deserve, conflicts and consequent break ups become imminent. Modu (1996) strengthens this position with his observation that when couples are young they tend to sleep over quarrels that would have been treated immediately to avoid carrying over grudges that may cause tension between them. Childlessness among couples is also often associated with marital conflict. Ikwen (1997), Otuji (2000), Genda (2002), for example, believe that the traditional aim of contracting marriage, especially in most African societies (including Nigeria), is procreation. When this is not possible within a short period, conflicts resulting from sudden outbursts become the order of the day, making marriage an unhappy union. For these scholars therefore, barrenness, infertility or childlessness is the cause of marital conflict.

Another conception, especially by Stone (1980), Essuman 1988), Iwuana (1991) Unachukwu (1991) is interference from couples’ relatives. It is the contention of these scholars that when couples are not allowed to take decisions that concern them and their immediate families, frustration and alienation from the family create cracks that ultimately destroy the marital bond. This school of thought further argues that in-laws are almost always interested in what is happening in the marriage dyad of their children to the extent that they even attempt taking decisions for them. The male’s parents are usually more prone to this sort of behaviour, and when the female becomes frustrated and reacts to the situation, she would be branded and issued threats ranging from asking the male to marry another wife to outright divorce of the troublesome or heady wife. When this happens, conflict in the union becomes the order of the day. Again, sometimes the couples themselves play a major role in creating conflictual situations in marriage. Scholars like Murdock (1949) and Giddens (2000) hold that the person who takes decisions or dominates the decision making process in marriage is capable of creating conflict in the union. This, they believe, is prevalent among literate couples, who both contribute substantially to the family income and would want to take part equally in decision-making in the family. When the man takes up this role, as it is common in most societies, the wife rebels thus creating a situation of conflict and imminent break or separation.

The instability of the family that results from the above conflict situations often threatens the stability of the wider society. This is because when parents are not psychologically balanced, children from such emotionally malnourished homes could derail in their thoughts. Obe (1997), for instance, stresses that social problems such as drug abuse/addiction, school drop out, stealing, prostitution, etc., are effects of conflict in marriage. Education on the ills of unscrupulous behaviour serves as a tool to safeguard against being victims of these predicaments. The individual is also affected as the maladjusted personalities in the society, the malfunction individuals in schools that have become manifest in cult activities, examination malpractice and other vices in schools as the fallout from marital conflicts.

Churches and mosques have organised several marriage seminars for married and unmarried people to create effective marital relationship and harmony, yet the problem has remained. Experience has shown that separation, stealing, divorce, drug abuse, and uncompromising attitudes of pupils or students stem from marriage instability. Ugabi (2004) contends that marriages nowadays are no longer as successful as was the case two decades ago. Both men and women feel that marriage is now one of those public displays of wealth and therefore propagate marriage of convenience. By and large counselling strategies properly put in place would salvage this menace to the lowest minimum. Enoh (2005) observed that the more the churches, scholars and other specialised agenciesry to reduce the cankerworm in the society, the higher the magnitude of misunderstanding among spouses, because indiscipline has a root from marital instability. Agim (1997) emphasises that if parents could insist on having their children go through a thorough screening of the proposed bride’s/groom’s family and conduct before contracting marriage, the institution could once again regain its lost glory. Some cultural tenets of marriage are grossly ignored because of civilisation. The traditional counselling methods that were used have been abandoned. The continuous instability, separation and break down of homes do not augur well for the development of the children and the society. The immediate environment of every child is the home in which the father and mother act as models, whether positive or negative. The children have to necessarily take after their parents who are often their first teachers (Undiyaundeye 2002, Nwobi 1995). Unhappy and incongruent homes produce a great number of unscrupulous and socially deviant children because the people in it are deviant. A visit to orphanages and children in divorced homes would testify to this assertion (Standford, 2002).

It becomes plausible to assert that whatever negative behaviour exhibited by a child is, possibly, a reflection of the parents’ behaviour, hence the saying, “like father like son.” The frequency of break-ups among couples knows no bounds among both Christians and Moslems in Nigeria. These are the causes of maladjusted personalities among children in our society.

Another factor is the influence of peers or clique or association with others, which has gone a long way in determining the behavioural transformation among spouses in their families. Often, the friends of the couples discuss family problems and the advice often offered could be the type that can injure the marriage union. Couples often take seriously comments made by friends without considering the possible effects these might have on the union. Carew (1995) and Obe (1997) have established that spouses’ discussions with cliques, especially on family problems, have serious negative effects on marriage more than any single variable. This is often because members of cliques’ claim to have experience and knowledge on marital issues, irrespective of the fact that each marriage union is markedly different from the other.

Marital conflict breads unhealthy relationship in the couples themselves, the children and dependants. For revitalisation of convivial living, counselling must come into play. Some tips on couples interaction must be introduced as a combing device for couples in conflict. The couples require some skills to aid them in the management of crisis point at any likely breaking point caused by pressure generated by conflict as they cohabit.

The environment of the neighbourhood of couples also creates problems for the family. For instance, Park, Burgess and Mackenzie (1936) hold that the environment has serious implications for whatever activities that go on in it, including marriage. According to their typology of urban expansion, residence in any of the locations like the “Central Business District” (CBD), the sub-urban, etc. have implications for the marriage dyad as different neighbourhoods have different interaction patterns for their inhabitants. It is therefore the contention that when this happens, it is only the counselling and managerial skills that can save the day and help the couples cope with this problem.

As a panacea for reducing these situations, several scholars have recommended counselling therapies. Counselling therapy is a structured process, which focuses on the psychological treatment approach in which the therapist collaborates with clients to use specific techniques to improve their emotional well being and overall functioning of the marriage situation. It is the contention here that conflict management skills, which aligns seriously with this therapy, is capable of resolving most marital conflict situations. This is because if this is not done, the situation degenerates to some health problems such as emotional disturbances, besides the social strand of affecting the social cohesion of family members and society.

Encompassed with these predicaments, the researcher is inspired and motivated to seek the actual triggering factors and possible solutions, which will at least, reduce conflict in marriage. The discovery of these conflicts and their intelligible management become necessary in our homes as they bring about maturity and respect that would make marriages relatively stable. This is borne out of the fact that this situation has consequences for not only the individual or his family but on the entire society. The contention here is that the possession of appropriate management skills for couples who have these problems is necessary at this point. This is in the hope that the effects shall provide a difference for couples who were not exposed to them in order to bring about cordiality in their homes, thus creating peaceful co-existence in the society.

1.2        STATEMENT OF THE PROBLEM

The background of some couples in marriage today has a serious negative impact on their family and society at large. They are alone in the midst of others dependent on their marital disposition, which is sickly due to lack of adjustment to marital vows. Marital distress, conflict, family uncertainty among couples could threaten societal values, an embarrassment to themselves, children and their community where they co-habit and this pose a negative influence. Eniba (1999) observed that the element responsible could be improper communication. Some couples lack the way without to express their feelings which causes breakdown in communication leading to misunderstanding of one another.

Marriage relationships are said to have become generally strained in recent past, especially among literate couples, as indicated by scholars like Obe, (1997) and Carew (1997). Efforts have, however, been made by scholars, churches, professional organisations, etc. to curb this menace. Yet, the incidence of marital conflict and disharmony appears endemic as the stabilising of personality role of marriage and the family wanes at alarming rates. Scholars, teachers, churches, etc. are at a loss on the options available for identifying the causes of this situation in their attempt to proffer solutions. Otuji, 2000 and Ode 2001 feel that marriages, especially among the literate class, have been under serious threat of disintegration. This situation is said to be caused partly by age at marriage, childlessness or barrenness and extended family interference. This situation has serious implications for the stability of the family with consequences on the children’s personality, growth and adjustments.

Marital instability affects the society, going by the rate of divorce and the direct impact on the children, who, in most cases, grow to be social misfits and a nuisance. This situation appears to be nation-wide, as studies by Agim (1997) Obe (1997) and Carew (1995) of couples in Begiaka area of Cross River State, in Iga Okpaya districts of Benue state and University of Maduguri and of Borno State respectively confirm. These studies conclude that educated couples, despite their education, still have discrepancies in their views on issues that are conflict-prone. The effects (social, economic, political, personal and cultural) of this situation have remained worrisome to scholars and planners as well (Landis 1977, Nwobi, 1995 and Ume 2000). The end result of any marital instability is a breakdown of the union or divorce, home desertion, juvenile delinquency, truancy, school drop outs, lukewarm attitude to study, indiscipline, etc (Igbo 1997, Nwobi 1997, Igbo 2000,). Problems that could have been handled succinctly and co-operatively by couples are often allowed to degenerate to crisis levels, which, in turn, result in emotional dislocation that often leads to marital instability. This situation generates fear and impedes proper adjustments among couples (Philips, 1971; Manicini 1971 and Undie 1997).

This study is therefore hinged on the incessant occurrence of marital conflict among the literate couples in Northern Cross River State. The couples under study are by virtue of their education expected to detect conflict signals and hence employ conflicts managing tactics to effectively control the situation without disrupting the marital dyad and cohesion. The existence of this phenomenon (marital conflict) amongst the literate class points to poor marital conflict management skills.

Ogunsanya (2000) provides a management skill for sexual adjustment in marriage, he fails to emphasise a general overview on other conflict-prone situation in marriage such as finance, warmth, sensitivity to each other’s problems and effective communication, probably because the study interest was on sexual adjustment. Following from above therefore, this study sets out to find out the causes of marital conflicts, exploring how the possession conflict management skills helps the couples in adjusting in the face of these conflict. The study also attempted an explanation of how conflict management skills, can help in bringing about harmony for marital relationship amongst literate couples in Cross River North.

1.3        PURPOSE OF THE STUDY

The purpose of this research work is geared at achieving the following:

1. to discover the level of marital conflict management skills deficiency amongst literate couples.
2. to explore the effect of conflict management deficiency on age at marriage and marital conflict management.
3. to suggest remedies to resolve the causes of conflict situations in marital interaction and expectation.
4. to elaborate on the consequences of conflicts on the individual, family, marriage institution and the society at large.
5. to suggest skills that may assist in curbing couples defective interpersonal relationship.
6. to find out the effects of conflict management skills on marital stability in the study area.
7. to ascertain the extent to which counselling intervention is desired by married couples in the study area.
8. to find out the influence of family members on the growth of the marriage institution.

1.4        RESEARCH QUESTIONS

The study seeks to provide answers to the following research questions:

1. What are the common causes of marital conflicts amongst the literate couples in the study area?
2. What expectations and misconceptions do literate couples have of marriage?
3. What counselling needs are required to help literate couples perceive remote causes of management skills deficiency and deal with the problems?
4. What roles do family members play to influence cordiality and strengthen management skill accusation in couples?
5. What relationship does age at marriage have with occurrence of conflicts in marriage?
6. What effect does knowledge of management skills has on marital stability?

1.5     HYPOTHESES OF THE STUDY

The following hypotheses were postulated and tested in this study.

1. There is no significant difference in the perception of marital adjustment by literate couples irrespective of gender.
2. There is no significant difference between couples married in the church and the others (traditional or court) in their attitude towards marital problems

3. There is no significant difference as to how literate couples view extended family as a cause of marital conflict
4. There is no significant difference between couples that married early and those that married late on subjects that can spark marital conflicts.
5. There is no significant difference in the ways couples handle marital conflicts based on their level of educational attainment and irrespective of management skill acquisition.
6. There is no significant difference in the level of marital conflict management between couples who attended management skills programme and those who did not.

1.6          THEORETICAL FRAMEWORK

This section reviews and discusses some theories that are related to, and form the framework for this study. Several theories abound in psychological discourses of this nature. Psychologists like Carthoresen, Hostord, Michael Lee Meyerson and Whelp (1969), Okobiah and Okorodudu (1997) hold that most human behaviours are learned (though they can be unlearned), changed or modified and sustained if such behaviours are reinforced either positively or negatively as the case may be. The contention here is that though behaviours are learned, they can be modified and sustained over time, especially in the face of reinforcement; the feelings and attitudes of the people concerned can be changed in order to be consistent with the most current ones.

The following two theories will be used:

1. Eclectic theory
2. Conflict theory

A.ECLECTIC THEORY

Frederick Thorne (1950), this theorist believed that people are biological, psychological and social beings. The distresses they experience are a by-product of these interlocking factors. The role of the counsellor or therapist is to assist the person seeking to alleviate his or her distress through intervention. All interventions are preceded by some assessment of the problem. It was in fact the opposite of these, since it utilises theoretical unifying principles from various interrelated schools, and integrates pertinent facts from all sources.

He used this theory to treat and or advise couples with emotional problems of aversions towards one another, and which were almost breaking their marriages. He maintained that the counsellor must always listen attentively to the clients, who should most of the time be allowed to solve their problems for themselves.

Thorne (1952) states that this theory was a process of education and treatment as a conceptualised training of the individ designed to replace emotional–compulsive behaviour with deliberate, rational, adaptive behaviour based on the highest utilisation of intellectual resources. For Thorne (1952) therefore, eclectic theory of counselling is designed to preserve the client’s mental health by assisting him to prevent or modify causal factors that produced maladjustment or marital disorder in the client. This is crucial in the management of marital conflict situation.

Here, there is the diagnosis of the causes and symptoms of the client’s problem and it is often a client-centred approach in helping the client resolve his problem non-directive way. Thorne (1950) went on to suggest five techniques that can be used in solving problems:

1. Diagnosing the cause of clients’ personality maladjustment
2. Making plans to modify or prevent the casual factors of the client’s problem.
3. Securing proper conditions and environment for effective learning for client.
4. Developing the client’s intellectual resources for practising the newly acquired mode of adjustment.
5. Providing guidelines for the client on how to properly handle problems related to adjustment.

Finally, Okobiah and Okorodudu (1997) expantiate that the eclectic theory attempts the systematisation of counselling through the application of procedures, techniques and concepts of various theories of counselling.

The word “eclectic” symbolises selecting, reconciling and choosing an appropriate system or doctrines. This implies that using a single theory to deal with issues relating to marital problem may be limited in orientation, hence couples face trivial interpersonal problems as they cohabit. Sometimes the clients may require a learning process where the counsellor may utilise a variety of learning principles to assist the individual acquire desirable behaviours that can solve his or her undesirable behaviours towards others. To affirm this assertion, Shertzer and Stone (1980), Essuman (1988) Iwuana (1991) and Unachukwu (1991) contend that most human behaviours could be learned and unlearned. This creates a possibility for a modification of behaviours as desired. Since every individual has the propensity to evaluate and modify his or her behaviour, the counsellor uses this opportunity to define the client’s problem, formulate counselling goals and apply the required treatment to achieve cordiality, particularly in distressed or troubled couples. In the present study, modelling and reinforcement fit in especially with the views of Bandura (1969) when he studied children who had phobia for dogs. To remove this negative nature, the films of other children fondling with dogs fearlessly were introduced. In line with this approach, Esere (2000) suggests that couples who are well behaved could be used as models for problem couples to imitate and take clues from in their interactions with each other. Oni (2001) feels that anytime a desired behaviour is observed the counsellor could also follow a positive reinforcement as a follow up. The counsellor should always advise clients to imitate acceptable behaviour exhibited by others in films, media talks, newspaper presentations, or real life situations. Eclectics demand a global evaluation of the client with regard to his past, present and future possibilities. The counsellor’s aim is to re-educate, treat and conceptualise training of the individual designed to replace his/her emotional and maladaptive behaviour. This is done with the intention to preserve a client’s mental health, which produced mental disorder in the client.

The relevance of Frederick Thorne’s work to the present study is the need for marriage counsellors to diagnose the cognitive abilities of the couples through diverse techniques towards resolving marital problems. Hence, people’s interactions require divergent methods to handle their behavioural problems. The advantage here is that if one method fails, it could be interchanged with another, since individuals are not static in their ways of life. When different methods are sought for, it gives both the client and counsellor a better clue of dealing with the particular problem under consideration.

1. CONFLICT THEORY:

Karl Marx (1959), one of the early proponents of conflict theory, contends that conflict exposes the grievance between individuals or groups whose interest towards the object of contention is antithetical. The so-called higher things in life (example those with power to control the polity) have as their foundation, the economic facts of life. The structure of ownership and control of production and distribution of goods and services in the society determines this. Social change from the Marxian perspective is seen as the outcome of class struggle motivated by economic interest. The fact remains that conflict theory never divorces itself sufficiently from its structural-functionalist but turned on its head than a truly critical theory of the society. To contend with this, Dahrendorf (1959) believes that every society and the people or individuals that exist therein are subject to processes of change. He argues that conflict in the home and society at large contributes and provides enablement for stability. Dahrendorf, like other disciples of this theory, emphasises the role of power in maintaining order in society. He adds to it consensus theory, which examines value integration in the society, and recognises that society could not exist without both conflict and consensus which are prerequisites for each other. Conflict can only be resolved unless there is some consensus. For example, a house wife who had been badly hurt by her husband can not give up anger if there is no prior consensus or integration to serve as a basis for reconciliation. So where functionalists focus on the coercion created by shared society values, conflict theorists emphasise the role of power in maintaining order in society. Conflict in interest leads to revolutionary change, which alters the social order of the society. Conflict serves to solidify a loosely structured group. In a society or family relationship that seems to be disintegrating, conflict with one another may strengthen and restore the integrative core. Conflicts serve a communication function in a relationship, particularly positions and boundaries between couples, to become clarified. These allow the parties to get a better idea of their relative strength and may well increase the possibility of rapprochement or peaceful accommodation. ( Jaworski, 1991 and Ritzer 1996).

Later, Seigert, John and Stamp, Glen (1994) were to observe that the basic insight of this theory is that human beings are sociable but conflict proned-animals. Why conflict at all? It is because violent coercion is always a potential resource. This theory thus looks at the interpersonal relationship between two people and conflict management, and takes a critical look at the development and destruction of a relationship. It studies the relationship and looks at the different stages a relationship goes through. It takes a further look at what causes a relationship to go through these changes and the consequences the changes might have on the outcome of a relationship. These theorists observe that fight between couples serve to clarify the relationship in either a positive or negative way. Couples might also emerge from the fight with an awareness of interdependence. This new awareness can serve to draw a couple closer together having worked through their first big fight (FBF). The fight might also introduce thematic conflict that is a new dimension of conflict or a final sorting out of the conflict depending on the values of the couples involved.

The Seigert, Thorne, Stanmp and Glen conflict theories shall help the present study in overseeing what transpires between couples in terms of relationship, interaction and misunderstanding amongst them, and proffer ways of resolving unclear issues. Our emphasis here is on clarifying issues of doubt in couple’s day to day interaction.

1.7        SIGNIFICANCE OF THE STUDY

Marital conflicts concern many people: from the religious to community leaders, from the social welfare workers to counsellors. This research work is geared towards deliberation of literate couples who find it difficult to manage seemingly solvable marital conflicts. This study has potential to be of immense value to those who work in the social welfare office of local, state or federal Government. It will provide this category of persons (Social welfare officers) insight on trouble-prone areas of marital conflict in homes of literate members of the community, and help identify the right counselling tool with which to positively address these problems.

The findings of this work would also be of great assistance to both pre- and post-marital counsellor in conflict resolution and management. It is also hoped that the findings would be used as tools by marriage and family counsellors in assisting married spouses in their area of weakness and strength. It is therefore envisaged that counsellors will find the outcome of this work essential, for a healthy family is a prelude to a healthy and peaceful nation.

Educational planners and designers can also benefit from this study by the insight they will gain on the attitudes, signs and ways of addressing marital conflicts. Information obtained can impact on curriculum development and upgrade teaching and learning, especially since the subjects in this study are literate persons. As such, educational planners in post-primary schools and other institutions of higher learning will be awakened to their responsibility based on the revelations likely to be made by the study. Married persons and those intending to marry would find the findings useful, as they can mirror their marriages and intentions from the findings of this study. One other potential beneficiary is the researcher in the discipline who, hopefully, will be motivated and challenged to develop further interest in the study of marital and family therapy. Since marriage and home is the beginning of life, many people from other walks of life will find the study useful and beneficial to them as it is intended to fill the gaps existing between couples, family members, in-laws and the society at large. The study shall proffer solutions to couples’ problems in various ways, especially in the following specific aspects:

• provide skills necessary to take their proper place in the society and to seek further knowledge on how to deal with marital crises.
• to equip couples with emotional therapy to take care of the discrepancies in their marriage relationship.
• to assist those who deal with marriage problems at different levels in curbing the abnormalities in their behaviours for a threat-free marital environment.
• to give prospective couples positive hope for getting along well as a family.
• to sharpen the couples’ aura for each other as they stick together for life.

1.8        DELIMITATION OF THE STUDY

The study was confined to literate couples who have been married for five years to twenty-five years in the Northern Senatorial District of Cross River State. Furthermore, the study concerned itself with only couples that can read and write. The effect of the couple’s management skills, cognitive abilities, qualification, experience, and marriage practice among spouses was investigated. However, a good number of couples in the satellite villages were sampled randomly. Even though there are dimensions of conflicts in families such as ethnic/religious conflict, master/servant conflicts, parent/children conflicts, industrial conflicts (between employers and employees), the focus of this study is purely the conflict that exists between a husband and a wife as they interact.

The researcher was limited to providing management skills for couples. The reason being that others have tried to look at money management techniques in the home, joint account issue, will for children, wife’s salary and so on but skills for managing conflict in the home has been ignored.

1.9     OPERATIONAL DEFINITION OF TERMS

For the purpose of clarification and simplicity, certain terms in this work have been redefined in the context of the study.

1. Marriage: A union of man and woman as husband and wife after due consultation with parents and performance of the obligatory rights.
2. Marital breakdown: The separation of husband and wife due to disagreement, which may be resolved or lead to divorce.
3. Marital conflict: A strain in marriage interaction between a husband and a wife who are living together
4. Marital counselling: The total process through which couples who have problems are assisted and through such assistance are capable of resolving their problems.

5. Couples: Husband and wife who are bound together.
6. “For better for worse”: come what may” rich or poor, ill health or healthy, the couples must stick together as husband and wife.
7. Educe: A way of bringing out a hidden fact about a marriage.
8. Divorce: A final option out in a marriage by husband and wife.
9. Effects: A reaction in response to proposal on marriage rules as applicable in a marriage interaction.

10. Ogojians: people who are from Ogoja area of Cross River State. They could also be addressed as people from the Northern Senatorial District.

11.Literate Couples: Those who are enlightened and can help others e more focused and directional in their approaches to life.

12.Marital conflict management skills: A method used to help couples adjust to each other in conflict to achieve cordiality, e.g. exhibition of good communication skills/habit, display of tenderliness, sensitivity to emotional requirements by couple, openness in interaction.

13. Marital stability: The condition of marital harmony amongst couples irrespective of occasional and inevitable disagreements that may arise in the course of human interaction.
14. Marital Problem: A misunderstanding about issues that affect a couple’s relationship.

15. Traditional Marriage: A marriage rite performed as the custom of a people signifies.